Phrases that i love.


Si me escuchan llorar, no se alarmen, estoy feliz.
Si me ven ojeroso, no se asusten, estoy luchando.
Si me ven más delgado, no se alejen, estoy camino a la perfección.
Si me ven correr al baño no me detengan, me estoy limpiando.
Si me desmayo no me levanten, con la Anorexia estoy soñando.

Lo que hoy parece muy difícil mañana puede ser el mayor logro de tu vida.
Solo tienes que desearlo, nunca tienes que rendirte, tu puedes hacerlo, coge tus sueños y hazlos realidad, nada es imposible con Anorexia.
Es mejor ser un anoréxico anónimo que un gordo conocido.
No es amigo de Ana aquél que no tiene la fuerza para vencer las malditas tentaciones de comida que se presentan día con día.

sábado, 8 de mayo de 2010

Love or Selfish?

I don't know whats going on in my life right now, there is a lot of confusion, a lot of bad thoughts, a lot of anorexia and bulimia, now i have to decide between love and my eating disorders, this is something that is killing me hardly everyday, i can not deal with it anymore, this is giving me a lot of problems with my family, my friends and other persons, now i think i am so obese and ugly, iwant to be as thin as it is possible, i just want to die, i might die, now i realize that i am worthless, i got a lot of trouble in my mind, in my complete life, i can not remember how my life was before eating disorders, i can not even remember if i was happy or unhappy, i just remember that i was fatter than now, obviously i won't change my idea of me being fat, i just can not see at the mirrors, i am so afraid of my reflection, i hate my shadow, a fat one, i vomit at myself, and i want to die, that's the only thing i want but i am so coward that i can't kill myself, i just hate self injury. I'm so sorry for not being here posting but i have such a hard life and that is so sad, i know. i'm sorry girls and guys for not give an answer on your blogs but i am so tired, now i am gonna rest on my bed. i promise i'll post more constantly.

Horrible intake today:

an apple, yogurth, tuna, salad, water, jello and a cupcake :(

like two thousand (2,000 cals) or more calories, now i realize why i am so fat and ugly and why everybody look at me.

P.s by the way, i posted the video of Ashlee Simpson, she is so cute and thin. i hope that's such a cute song for you, at least for me it is. kinda fun.

2 comentarios:

NouveL Lisperguer.♣ dijo...

oh hun, i feel like shit too.
these last weeks have been horrible.
I started with ANA about a year ago, i always had eating disorders before that, and i used to talk crap about anorexic and bulimic people.
Now im here.... just like them
life can be a pain in the ass don't u think?
I know i was fatter than now before Ana, and ( this is gonna sound so sick) i think I love a way... my life has changed so much ( for good and bad) but, i mean, my weight now, it's the lowest i have in years! and even when im "skiny" now, i feel fatter than ever.
My head changed, totally changed.
I can not feel satisfaction... how could i ever be fatter than now? Ewww!
whatever, kisses and hugs 4 ya.
take care and try to cheer up ok?

Lila dijo...

my dear boy
i understand your feelings is horrible, when you close your eyes and you see one image, in this case i think you see you fat but the reallity is other you are thin and handsome but we can not see nothing good, we are or we want the perfection, and every day we figth ´cause never is enough
and I´m following you in facebook