I don't know whats going on in my life right now, there is a lot of confusion, a lot of bad thoughts, a lot of anorexia and bulimia, now i have to decide between love and my eating disorders, this is something that is killing me hardly everyday, i can not deal with it anymore, this is giving me a lot of problems with my family, my friends and other persons, now i think i am so obese and ugly, iwant to be as thin as it is possible, i just want to die, i might die, now i realize that i am worthless, i got a lot of trouble in my mind, in my complete life, i can not remember how my life was before eating disorders, i can not even remember if i was happy or unhappy, i just remember that i was fatter than now, obviously i won't change my idea of me being fat, i just can not see at the mirrors, i am so afraid of my reflection, i hate my shadow, a fat one, i vomit at myself, and i want to die, that's the only thing i want but i am so coward that i can't kill myself, i just hate self injury. I'm so sorry for not being here posting but i have such a hard life and that is so sad, i know. i'm sorry girls and guys for not give an answer on your blogs but i am so tired, now i am gonna rest on my bed. i promise i'll post more constantly.
Horrible intake today:
an apple, yogurth, tuna, salad, water, jello and a cupcake :(
like two thousand (2,000 cals) or more calories, now i realize why i am so fat and ugly and why everybody look at me.
P.s by the way, i posted the video of Ashlee Simpson, she is so cute and thin. i hope that's such a cute song for you, at least for me it is. kinda fun.
